While graduation marks the end of an epic, it also marks the beginning of a lot of first times, one of the foremost are long distance relationships. The word relationships here not being restricted to the strictly romantic ones. Work, studies, time pull you apart. Sometimes geographical distances are the barrier, sometimes temporal. but what stays is the word distance. and then some day some snaps remind you of some people, you add new people on your phone list, and old ones are phased out. As you age, you have more n more people to keep track off, and trust me this can be an overwhelming task. so here are a few tippers, to save dying LDRs, to preserve the ones, or to build up on em...
there are a certain things that need to be understood at the beginning. First "things have changed". That you have moved places is a "fact" neither parties can run away from, so embrace it.
Secondly you have moved apart cos of a reason (cause) etc. and that often has more to do with subsistence, survival, careers and such other things, and by virtue of that, it kinda ranks above everything else. Respect this. Respect other's time and commitments. In a complex social network like the one that we live in, even casual chitchat is not merely a waste of time.
we can now move further to some real tips..
1) Act grown-up: since you have well, graduated now, and are probably working somewhere or doing post grad, or in some cases happily married, you are expected to show a certain level of maturity. not just in your work, but in the way you manage everyday issues, the way you deal with people, and the way you look at them.
2)Be in touch: make use of all the means of communication you have. e-mail, phone, sms, social networks. they are here for you.
3) Talk: Catching up can be an overwhelming task. so speak out. your friend circles may now not overlap, but the stories can still be narrated. talking about work is not always boring. we can all be storytellers, tap your potential. when the other person has no clue of the world you are in, you have an additional task of building this world of yours for him, this initial trouble may well pave way for topics to talk for a lifetime.
4) Voice and Word your emotions: when in person, our face conveys most of our emotions, we hardly need to rely on voice and words, but in LDRs these are critical. Speak out whats in your mind. Speak out how you feel. If somethings bothering you talk. If you are angry yell. if you are happy jump on the phone. you need to exaggerate a little. A smile on phone is never conveyed, you must giggle o laugh.
5)Call back: it may often happen that you are busy with something when someone calls you up. make it a habit to call back on missed calls, or at least text back.a text hardly takes time.
6) Catch up: meet people. when you go back home, plan up a meet. When you go some place where you know some of your friends are, ring them up, check if its possible to meet. (i'd always get irritated with dad's endless list of people to meet when we went any place for a vacation. But its important. we are all people-people)
7)Redefine relationships: at distances we often need to redefine relationships. it begins from the way we interact to the levels at which we interact.
8)Resolve issues: this kinda comes as a sub under talk/express. Issues will always be there. Speaking them out is the best way to resolve them, and resolving them asap. the longer something stays the more it affects. the other person may be lost in his/her own world to keep track of you. it doesn't necessarily mean he/she is not bothered.
9)Anniversaries matter: may it be a birthday, an anniversary, first child, a year at work, it all matters. make notes, set reminders, send wishes...
10) Preserve: This is the most cliched line... relationships are fine threads, delicate.... preserve them with all your finesse.
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