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recommitted

i become more of a midnight blogger when i come home. i thought i had gotten over ma addiction to the net, bt thats nt to b, i stil can sit hours infron of the browser wit literally nothin happenin.
nights are a time of sporadic activity, cos thats when most of my pals are online, and then hours pass by without u realisin it. (ther are days when it gets really borin, n there are jus one o two of em, n other times when ur fingers find it difficult to juggle betn windows)

umm well tats nt wat this post is all about. i kinda get too involved in the present these days while writin, i hav to struggle a little to remember wat i actually wanted to write about. ok ther i go again. sorry

so this post is about bein single. every phase as it comes looks fun..(depends on how u look at it). its more like u get used to it n then don wanna change ne more. u want it to go on. i am single. n i kinda like this phase. like the freedom, the no bonds, no worries, the hangin out with frens, casual flirtin, its one of the most pleasant phases. u have no emotional baggage to carry. i jus dropped off most of mine, like an hour or less before. spelled out all those things i was holdin jus fr the sake of bein good i guess. more of not tryin to hurt someone.

but then when u are single, u think more abt not hurtin urself than the other... so i did jus tat. i don like arguments, but i like non violent discussions. i had one such with a guy i m nt even sure if i was goin out with. it felt relieving to say those things to him, that i d been hopin to say. like most guys, he din wait til the end of the discussion, but i saw to it that i had the last word. that i got across exactly wat i wanted to say.

sometimes u run out of feelings, esp if u ve been pourin them on someone too much, too fast. i think tats wat happened. for the past few months i was strugglin with an empty relationship. it was like tryin to squeeze out the last few drops of water from sponge. u can never squeeze it completely. i guess m like tat sponge at the moment. waiting fr time to evaporate the rest.

n yes this time unlike the last times i spoke about heartbreaks, there s no accusations, no regrets, n m nt waiting fr someone to come up to me again, m ready to move on!

it may be wrong, but m ready for what lies ahead cos may be after bein committed to a someone fr so long, i have now changed ma priorities. not uncommitted but more like recommitted. recommitted to aspiring for wat i alwes wanted...
recommitted to living all those dreams...
recommitted to.... Life as it comes!


thers jus this advice to those other 20 smtins out ther... never lose sight of ur goal, of wat u want more like of wat u alwes wanted... never let go of your dreams. (i feel like i hav jus walked out from some rehab. a lil scarred but nevertheless ready to go...)

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