Skip to main content

The other side of 20’s : The hushed secret

They tell you the 20’s are good years. Freshly out of college, you are all set for the world. That’s where everyone starts anyway. Then work –life happens, or post-graduation happens, or something such. For the first two years, (of whatever you choose), you live with a gusto. You are an adult, (by almost everyone’s standards) and you have this new sense of freedom. The responsibilities haven’t yet clouded your dreams. You are hopeful, still. Some have just cracked out of their shells (called home) and they are experimenting. Others turn more reckless with their experimentation. Everyone’s still searching though, looking for that niche where everything feels in place. You try a lot of new things. It’s not like college any more where you had to look over your shoulder each time you wanted to try something new. And before you know, in a frenzied rush to make the best of your times … bammm!!!  You hit the 25 mark.

And then life changes… (almost overnight). You are bogged down by wedding invites. There is an incessant bombarding of couple photos on your timeline. Everyone’s either into, out of, or trying to get into a relationship. The first few bachelor parties are fun, but then they become routine too. Your phones default mode is “Important messages only”. You know most of your friends through updates on social media. You suddenly notice the “freshers” around you, and you see that look in their eyes, that look you gave the “senior” whilst you were a fresher. That word emboldens itself in front of your eyes “Senior”.  You think of updating your resume and making a shift, but before you get to that you have to deal with the wedding resumes. Your parent’s are retiring or are dreaming of retiring and that thing called “responsibility” starts nudging you, slowly, in your most peaceful moments.

They tell you all this about the 20’s . What no one talks about, are the incredibly long hours you will spend with yourself, “alone” (be it at work, at home, anywhere.) No one tells you that after spending forever forging relationships, you have to now learn to be without most of them. You have to learn to live a life where no one’s really bothered about your everyday. Where you fall into a mundane routine, and there will be days at end, when nothing is really happening. Everyone else’s life will feel infinitely more happening than your own. It’s a hushed secret, really. We all feel this way (on the other side of 20s), but we hide it by telling the world a story glorifying our routines (and hoping we fall for it ourselves). The challenge is not so much in being alone, but to not let being alone, make you feel lonely. The challenge is to accept the solitude, to be okay with it and to make the best of it.


So, how does one do that, you may ask. I really don’t know. Still getting there. 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Damsel in Distress Syndrome

Many years ago, a male friend quoted, “a girl/woman in a relationship is somehow more attractive to other guys”.  I didn’t really give a thought to it then, it could have been well merely his opinion. But what with guys liking girls who are already with someone else (and vice versa) I thought it wasn’t as simple as that. At a broader, abstract level, we as social creatures, seek conformity in our actions, a kind of acceptance. We are more willing to conform to something that has been already accepted. More than often we conform to social codes, rules, without questioning them because they already have some acceptance for them. We tend to believe that anything that has been accepted should be worth accepting. The other way of looking at it, and this one’s a personal favourite, is the Damsel-in-Distress Syndrome. Okay, there’s no such syndrome really, and I came up with the name, but it fits. So a couple of years ago, I had this friend who thought a girl was driving him nut...
1 comment
Read more

smoke off yer life

Its been some time since my last post…..but I was preoccupied with other matters… Back to ma writin What is the difference between addiction n habit…if any!! The first thing that I turned to for an answer was a dictionary! In the GREAT DICTIONARY (no adjective, the dictionary I refer is itself called the GREAT DICTIONARY…nt oxford, m a bit unorthodox) i found this: ADDICTED is defined as being physically dependant on a certain thing, or, being devoted to a particular interest or activity HABIT was defined as a settled or regular tendency or practice!! This may sound drab, n my reader may wonder what I am heading to, but I have a point to make, n I hope you bear up wid me The definitions above are not complete, what about mental dependence? I come to the crux of the matter now!! SMOKING: is it an addiction or a habit? its not supposed to make u mentally dependent...but then ppl do behave lyk they r aft some tym...lyk i need a cig to think, to relieve ma tension!!...
2 comments
Read more

a story

Once upon a time, th ere was a bird . He was adorned w it h tw o perfect wings and with glossy, colorful, marvelous feathers. In short, he was a c reature made to fly about freely in the sky, bringing joy to everyone who saw him. One day, a woman saw this bird and fell in love with him. She watched his flight, her mouth wide in amazement, her heart pounding, her eyes shining with excitement. She invited the bird to fly with her, ant the two traveled across the sky in perfect harmony. She admir ed and venerated and celebra ted that bird. But then she thought: he might want to visit far-off mountains! And she was afraid, afraid that she would never feel the same way about any other bird. And she felt envy, envy for the bird’s ability to fly. And she felt alone. And she thought: I’m going to set a trap, the next time the bird appears, he will never leave again.’ The bird, who was in love, returned the following day, fell into the trap and was put in cage. She ...
2 comments
Read more