"Tum itna jo muskura rahe ho, kya gam hai jisko chupa rahe ho ankhon me nami, hasi labon par kya hal hai, kya dikha rahe ho" Nothing describes depression more aptly than this timeless ghazal by Kaifi Azmi. I was brought to it again today by some old photographs of some of the most terrible days of my life. I was smiling in them all. If the memories weren't there, I'd probably fool myself into believing they were happy times. Why talk about this now, after all these years? Well, because today I am at a place where I can look back without feeling the pain, the angst or even feeling terrible about myself; where I can handle talking to my near and dear ones about it, most of whom have had no clue (till this post) about these times or my mental state then. It feels like a cliche to say that depressed people do not necessarily isolate themselves from the world. More often they immerse themselves in it, all the more, in the hope of an escape. What is it like to be in a
n life as i walk on em